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[Sunday, August 24, 2003]
[11:04 a.m.]--according to the precise time of my dickory hickory tick tock clock
suddenly feel like setting up a new site. shucks 3 weeks study break. doesnt seem that much, bud guess its alrite if we all start chionging rite now.
feel like buying the band of brothers vcd series and the LOTR: two towers to watch again. the band of brothers are an inspiring lot.feel so inspired after watching them. just asked my mum to buy 4 me. heh, dun dink she will in the end. =)
sigh my sister is checking out the screen. heh got lotsa things to do todae. dink i'll be blogging cos wun be cing ual so often these daes. Bud we gona haf a fun time on thursdae rite? yea, as alwaes again. Lets go catch SWAT okie? hee
bro nick is getting more and more enlightened these daes.sigh all those types of love he writes about. Dink its realli difficult to achieve that perfect state of unselfish love. Like how to share ur wife with another stranger not in the physical side bud in the emotioinal side. Thou she'll prolly be happy with the stranger, how can one take tt shit. so i blive thats an equilibrum to love. its more like a give and take situation. Of course the best result is both people in a relationship loves each other so much that they give giving and giving. yep the both of them. actually, deres not even a need to dink abt this shit. cos if they realli love each other, things will find a wae to work itself out between them. I think so.
missing her. missing all u guys. cant wait for thursdae to come. cant wait to haf fun with ual once again. now i gtg get my ass off studying. yea. take care ual
[Tuesday, July 15, 2003]
[09:15 p.m.]--according to the precise time of my dickory hickory tick tock clock
back again...
haha i 4got my login password in the morning and i've just 4gotten it just now. Im a big 4getful lunkhead. hehheh
Just ate 2 bowls of fish porridge for dinner. Feeling realli full rite now... been eating light the whole dae, shall do that 4 like 3 more daes and hopefully, my gastritis would have gone by and i'll be gd again. feeling kinda weak these daes... especially now. Dink im burning a slight fever or somethin even thou the thermometer is like 35. something. Feeling both hot and cold at the same time.Hopefully it'll get better yeah. Mayb i need sleep. Yeah. Decided then. Shall go sleep after i do the practical later. Heh
Realised what nick said todae on the bus holds water. We can control our emotions. If we want to be happy, we can. We can be happy even thou someone has died, erm ur dog ate ur penis or erm yeah. cant dink of any more worse situations than ur penis being chewed up by a dog. oh man its freakin disgusting. Like the guy whu ate his own dick. shucks... wad a crazy freakin world todae.
Sometimes its difficult to keep ur emotions in check. Humans are so flawed. Bud once u can, it'll just be a whole different perspective to life. hahahaha
Felt quite weird during the bus ride. So near yet so far. Hmmm. Haha bud i still managed to catch several glimpses of u. And yes guys, wad u said during break while eating in the morning is true. Im guilty of jealousy. hahahahaha
, bud after thinking abt it, wads dere to be jealous about?? hahaa, yeah.
Feeling quite stupid for feeling how i felt todae. hahah sorrie. I noe u love me. I do too.
[Tuesday, July 15, 2003]
[11:28 a.m.]--according to the precise time of my dickory hickory tick tock clock
heh. break now. supposed to be doing physics stuff, bud gave up after two questions... hahaha dumdidumdidumdidum... =p
felt erm kinda weird after i learnt wads goin to happen on the weekend yeah. Bud now ive come to the same conclusion again that i should just place trust in u and us instead of harping on the matter incessantly, bringing more security to my self caused insecure state. somehow i kinda think tat negative things that e might sae abt me and the relathing might place a negative impression and idea in ur head... bud then again, true love will prevail and we shall see. hahaha true love means trust too zhao... so u've got some issues u've to work on. issues like trust and the fact that u think too much. u dink alot dude, and thats a negative point. Sometimes we shouldnt think too much. Im working on those stuff now! hahaha !aint want this to break this thing down, cos it means much to me, and u noe how i feel 2wards u. haha
thanks my buddies for tolerating my erm rubbish just now. It felt great just telling ual how i feel. hahah =) n thanks for knocking some sense into me hahaha =p
Yes! my pelvis feels so much better after the accident on sunday. Just realised that there is such a thin line between life and death. Hahaha i almost broke down after the accident, cos of the fear that i might leave my loved ones behind bcos of such a folly. Its stupid to die like that. If i would die, i'll want to die for a cause, mayb in combat in the military? die while doin adventure or perish pursuin my dreams... Not by some silly accident. Phew, luckily the driver jammed the brakes. =) Things like this however reveals a gd side to them, it has made me appreaciate my loved ones more for whu they are even more, for just talking to me and for just being with me. heehee
hope my sister would haf a gd time in london. Njoy urself babe. Which soccer clubs are dere in london? Arsenal? haha take care!
Okie dokie, off i go, a merry happy little boy once again! Yeah ! =)
[Thursday, June 26, 2003]
[10:19 p.m.]--according to the precise time of my dickory hickory tick tock clock
sprang a real nice surprise today. wun eva 4got that action. hahaha =) Spent some quality bonding time together. Real sweet. Saccharine sweet. hahhaha thanks! =p
Went over to nick's place to join him and grace 'studying'. Rite managed to do only magnetism. hahaha played xbox for quite some time too. sigh... still hafta study after this... =( bud aniwaes its gona be worth it slogging it out now. so... wtf yeah.
haven seen nick n grace 4 a long time... it was another fun time again! hahaha nice one guys! =p missed ya all too. another one soon... !!
ate alot todae... freakin pig. Big Breakfast. Nice oily sinful macaroni soup. Potato chips. Nice sinful dinner at nick's place. Soursop icejelly with oily sinful but fabulous
chee kwei at the hawker after dinner. Pigpigpig. Worst thing is my respiratory system aint that gd nowadaes so cant go running! arghhhh nvm
physics... i can do it! bwhahaha
[Wednesday, June 25, 2003]
[01:41 a.m.]--according to the precise time of my dickory hickory tick tock clock
volatile emotions are besieging me,
feel kinda loserish but happy.
wow, wad a wide contrast it may be,
cos seldom does it happen to me.
guess some things just cant be said(haha),
just as well if its appropriate.
hmmm, feeling loserish cos i couldnt make u happy,
enviousity kinda seeps in when others can.
aint matter cos thats what i want aniwae.
Just want u to be happy,
no matter what it takes.
even to the extent of suffering,
I forego that,
if that what it takes.
Cos i'll feel happy too when u're.
[Tuesday, June 24, 2003]
[09:18 p.m.]--according to the precise time of my dickory hickory tick tock clock
it was real sweet. Relish every second spent with you, whether its just sitting beside you, or just being on the phone with you, basking in ur *insert word here* hee...Like what happens in a fantasy.
Just too bad reality gave me a hard shove. Tests next week... hope it'll be over quickly. And everyone will do well. hee... back to reality for now... =)
[Sunday, June 22, 2003]
[03:21 a.m.]--according to the precise time of my dickory hickory tick tock clock
I would give up everything
Before I'd separate myself from you
After so much suffering
I finally found unvarnished truth
I was all by myself for the longest time
So cold inside
And the hurt from the heart it would not subside
I felt like dying
Until you saved my life
Thank God I found you
I was lost without you
My every wish and every dream
Somehow became reality
When you brought the sunlight
Completed my whole life
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude
Cause baby I'm so thankful
I found you
I would give you everything
There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do
To ensure your happiness
I'll cherish every part of you
Because without you beside me I can't survive
I don't wanna try
If you're keeping me warm each and every night
I'll be all right
Cause I need you in my life
Thank God I found you (I'm begging you)
I was lost without you (so lost without you)
My every wish and every dream (every dream, every dream)
Somehow became reality
When you brought the sunlight (brought the sunlight)
Completed my whole life
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude
Cause baby I'm so thankful
I found you
See I was so desolate
Before you came to me
Looking back I guess it shows
that we were destined to shine
After the rain to appreciate
And care for what we have
And I'd go through it all over again
To be able to feel this way
Thank God I found you
I was lost without you (lost without you baby)
My every wish and every dream
Somehow became reality
When you brought the sunlight
Completed my whole life (whole life)
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude
Sweet baby I'm so thankful
I found you
Thank God I found you
I was lost without you
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude
My baby I'm so thankful
I found you
Just heard this song not long ago on the radio,
Grace, mark, jon, nick, kevin , yewsong, just wana tell u guys that i realli thank god i've found u all. Life just wouldnt be the same without u guys. U guys rock my world. Its an absoulute blessing that i have u guys as my buddies. And thanks to each of u for being just who you are. That makes me happy. Lets all reach out for happiness together. One for all, all for one... =p
to the special sumone: Thanks 4 being whu ure. Smile more, cos ure smile renews life in me. Laugh more, cos your laughter invigorates me. Continue being the person you re, cos it makes me happy. Dun worrie abt not being good at this. Just be yourself.Oh and im realli not bothered at all by erm u noe whu. hahah its perfectly fine. Can envision myself getting to know him better in the future. =) *insert what i told you just now* hahha =)
Not to mention my lil bro and sis.
without u guys, woahhh cant fuckin imagine.
Just be urselves too okie.
U guys rock. too hahaha =)
With all you guys in my life,
life just rocks.
[Thursday, June 19, 2003]
[09:29 p.m.]--according to the precise time of my dickory hickory tick tock clock
Chip lived in a maze of tunnels under the gate, sheltered from the elements. Being sheltered from the elements gave chip a blessed life. A comfortable one indeed. At least he dint haf to battle the mericiless ant eater bab whu was alwaes trying to get some food.
One dae, while tryg to get some dead fly back to the lair, chip met rossie. Rossie was bz tryg to clear up the shit the ants left bhind and probably with all the shit stuck between her eyes... she tot chip possessed big bisceps and all. She viewed chip as that of the king and naturally fell feelers over
heals in love with chip... They got together in the end...
they loved each other with all their heart but in the end, the mighty queen wanted chip for mating and yeap, the queen chopped of rossie's head and ate her for lunch.
yep deres something called jealously in the ant colonies too. =p
So after chip got brutally screwed by the queen, he felt realli bad. He din noe wad to do next. And so he left the maze of tunnels heading into the unknown wilderness.
What he saw enticed him...
aiya, feeling crappy now... shall continue another day... stay in tuned for the next episode where chip screws a fat ass butterfly! hahaha this is R(A)... sigh rubbish =) no offence aniwae
[Friday, June 6, 2003]
[08:49 a.m.]--according to the precise time of my dickory hickory tick tock clock
not bloggin for a real long time plus being super bored cooped up in the school library mugging for SATs tomolo constitutes an entry i guess. hahaha
hahaa, anyway, the last week had been real fun and all. We had nick's birthday smash at yakiyuki on saturdae night followed by an intensive laser mania workout, where dumbass mark showed that he possessed only physical brute strength, and of course, grace me and jon just whacked the hell out of mark and nick. Haahahaha
nice one guys. =p
Saturdae afternoon was made up of the real physical and intensive soccer game with TJC, which we lost 1-0, by a damn kelong goal due to miscommunication. But we're improving rapidly with each game and dink i'll 'retire' after the next game with a win against the choir guys. Yea. c=
the sun, the sand and the sea dominated my tuesday. went to sentosa with the band people to have some fun and boi did we have lotsa fun. Bud it wasnt as fun as the last time i went dere with the clique. that time was nothing but pure heaven. Dink it was because there was just too many people who went that dae. Some were'nt very on too... Personally i like smaller group outings where everyones close to everyone, like what is happening now.
nick, jon, mark, grace song and kev, u guys still rock my world the best ya. continue rocking. tts the wae. =)
But nevertheless i still had my fair share of fun and a tan that day. hahah.... hey guys let go to sentosa in the middle of the June vacations k? damn fun =p
Oh yah, there was the dinner with hamtaro tt mondae nite. Haven felt soothed in the long time already. Went to taka to eat the yakitori lunch box with her for dinner. Had her favourite haagen dazz ice cream and she brought me to this realli fabulous out of the world place outside the Irish Pub at somerset. The feelings kinda nice ya. Dink shes a nice gal to hang out with and all, bud feel i should just keep it this wae and let things happen( if they happen at all) naturally. Dun even noe how im actually feeling about it all. err, confused bud fuck it yea. My feelings will straighten out by themselves and i'll just live life as how i like it to be and treat all of them the same. Any gd advice? =)
Oh yeah, tomolo's the SAT n im quite doomed, bud fuck it, just gona take the test and get over and done with it. hahahaha =) Gona go with my buddies to watch the soccer match later. Gona be interesting! Mark , Russ u can do it!!! Bring back the trophy dude!
Nicknick, dun worrie about ur weekends yah. Some how or the other, things will happen. If not, give zhao a call. Will be down in a jifty. heh =p
[Saturday, May 31, 2003]
[01:36 p.m.]--according to the precise time of my dickory hickory tick tock clock
Happy 18th Birthday Nicknick!!!!!!!!!
hahaha happy birthday to u!!!
Happy birthday to uuuuuuuu!!!!!!
Happy birthday to nicknick!!!!
happy birthdae to u!!!!!!!!
heh, its nick's 18th birthdae todae. And boi is he gona be in for a gd time. Yeah so are we. hahaha hope tt this dae is truly enjoyable for u nicky boi! And that we can remain as a closely knit group forever! =p yea!
[Tuesday, May 27, 2003]
[08:20 p.m.]--according to the precise time of my dickory hickory tick tock clock
heya. Its me back after a long time. heh. The weather's like so fucking hot man. Bloody hell. Ended up sweating like shit and getting a sun tan by just standing dere supporting the tennis girls for their match. Hahaha
Yup and i finally did it. Mayb bcos it was so awkward not to say hi, tts why i did it. Haha aniwae fuck it. Bud i kinda went back to my usual humji self during PE.heheh, yepyep nick, lets not be humji nextime. hahaha =p Be a man and conquer ur deepest
fears. yea. =)
Cant believe dandan actually called me a big flirt. Tts it u noe. Frickin pissed off! haha wads wrong with disturbin yirong during band prac. damnit. =p
Two things im realli lookin 4ward too
1.) Brother nick's birthday on saturday.
Its gona be a whole load of fun i swear. Damnit, realli lookin 4ward to celebrating bro's 18th birthdae with him. then can freakin jack the hell out of him man. hahah jokin la. Gona be damn exciting n fun packed. Cant wait man. Patience is a virtue. haha
2.) The soccer match with TJC band on saturdae afternoon. The team's gellin together as one. From wad i saw from the last match, i say we haf a rather realistic chance of grabbing our first win in 2 years. Sounds rather pathetic hahah. Bud think if i can reproduce the form i had tt time, it would be very helpful for the strikers. yeah. =p tingjun and baorong play realli well tt dae with joel as the cover defender. Others improved greatly too. yea just do it once again and tj is dead meat. =)
oh yeah. Screwed up Yew Hwee thought i was nicky and kaopeied me. "OI U! FAC CAP! MAKE SOME NOISE LAR! STAND DERE AND WATCH ONLY...." kpkp.... sigh. Kinda funny though. Veryone just burst out laughing. Inclding me. hahha. Gona do work now. Ciao
[Tuesday, May 20, 2003]
[09:10 p.m.]--according to the precise time of my dickory hickory tick tock clock
Hell on earth todae.
BLOODY HOT! damnit. the weather sucked so bad. Bud other than tt it was damn fun. Had lotas laughs todae. Including the one where we skipped maths lectured n i kb huiqing. Haha, bud i was real bad! sorry huiqing! haha bud kinda made it up to her by getting her the blazer. Sucks man, the blazers and all. Shit.
I dont feel like doing work todae. tired man... and i wana watch blade!! cant wait for blade to start!! =p been having headaches todae, dink its the freakin weather... damn sian. and yeah... my sister is going to PARIS for attachment program dere. WOWWWWW feel happy for her. Kinda sad thou cos she'll be absent for a month or so, shes leaving on the 16 and my bro's birthdae will be on the 20th! freakin sad. hahah bud nvm, i'll make him happy even w/o the help of my sis! yea...
Cant blive tt jenheng and jj will actually suspect tt kinda trash. Wadsup man. Aargh, gona tok cock online now. then BLADE!!!
[Saturday, May 17, 2003]
[11:06 p.m.]--according to the precise time of my dickory hickory tick tock clock
heya all... saturdae just passed by so fast. =)
Went to catch the matrix last nite with cat and pup n it blew me awae. Serious man... the fighting scenes were like fabulous and scripted down to perfection!!!! so coolllllll!!!!!!!!!!!!! though it was difficult to comprehend it all. Bud dink i understand it aniwaes...
Ooo i played my tbone todae!! real happy cos i missed it and i got sort of promoted to first tbone. Played till my lips were numb. Couldnt pitch properly bud guess i'll practice more long high notes. Sounds realli cool man... esp fantasy variations!!! =) Cant wait for the concert to come!!
Then after that went with lil hamtaro, jenheng and mervin for dinner at suntec bk. haHaha hamtaro's so cute and funny, just like to disturb her. =) Mayb i wun disturb her so much la... kinda bad... =p
I've got to set up a timetable for studies tom, finish a GP compre and read my economics by tom! and i've got a soccer game against TPJC! Kinda lookin forward to it. Nothing beats sweating it out. yea. Have to squeeze in Band, 20 km mileage, studies and fun in the timetable. Not gona be easy, bud i feel tat i'll manage. yeah. Exciting to plan ahead i guess... GOING NUTS! Gona get some sleep now. Need to do all tom! =) NITE!
[Tuesday, May 13, 2003]
[10:18 p.m.]--according to the precise time of my dickory hickory tick tock clock
Tuesdae
Had a great dae todae, bud din do too good for my napfa. Only managed to get a sliver. Hahaha damn broad jump and my pullups went down by 2. Missed by target by 6. Mayb i set too high a target for myself. Hahaha aniwae at least got no first three mths BMT. Oooo and i did a PB of my 2.4km with a time of 1034, which was an improvement of 9 seconds. Still 35 seconds off target... bud at least i improved. Must keep up the training, dun dink i'll make the half marathon if i go off track. =)
Went with nick to LJS at amk for dinner and to the library for some studyg. Hahahaha... nice time brother. Managed to get some shit into my head... bud its still not enough. Must get at least 20 tom. Heck care la... haven study finish, mayb wakey later.
darn tired now. Sleep.
[Tuesdae, May 13, 2003]
[12:00AM]--according to the precise time of my dickory hickory tick tock clock
been a long time since i last logged in. Kinda lazy when it comes to all these things. hahaha =)
Oh i just discovered something big. Shall tell the guys tomolo man... Its huge and its damn interesting. hahaha =p
Had econs test todae man... dink im gona fuck it up. Actually i had already screwed it. Like hell man, din noe wad the drq questions were talking about... nvm la fuck it. din study very hard for it though.
Ms Tay told mum that my econs grade was disappointed her during the first common test and she expected me to do better... yeah like how well man. oooo she said i was bright too. hahah self morale booster. Shes quite a nice tutor man... though sometimes she can get pretty fucked up... read bad. =) Dink im gona start studying harder for econs and all.
Was on the wae to AMK library to study 4 the physics test when i found out my sister was at the orchard one. hahahaa so conincidentall n i went to join her instead. Had dinner together with her at the foodcourt at taka and she talked about desmond again. Hahahaa... n i told her to GET OVER IT. Its been three years. Tt stupid puppy has lotas admirers from NTU and she doesnt like any of them bud prefers and dumb ass himbo... ok la, mayb hes quite hunky and cute bud like WTF... He goes around telling gals he's got a bigger cleavage than them. HIMBO man... hahahaa she'll find someone better soon.
Bet im gona flunk the physics test if i dun *ermhem* seek help during it. DId 3 chapters and i had probelsm all at the last part of them... gota seek immediate help toml. Damnit, but lucky its MCQ, so can tikam.
ooo natalie asked me out to jog with her just now when i was at the lib and i had to reject her. hahahaa weird tt the lazy gal wanted to go jog, too bad i had to be at orchard. Even then, dun dink i would go with her cos i hafing NAPFA toml . Wun want to tire myself out for it toml man. Kinda scared i screw up, cos i only ran 5km for the past week instead of the usual 20++ and even then i din complete that 5 km. Gave up halfwae like a wuss. Nah... i had a gassy tummy. Hope tt doesnt happen toml. Must remember to bring antacids. =)
Had real fun todae after econs test laughing with jon and nick abt s.yeo's convert operation in the boot. hAhaha real shit we could dink off man... ooo esp the spoon tingy with grace... hahaha realli love those times we just laugh like shit, oblivious to the surroundings.
Aarggghhh i miss my tbone. SYF was disappointing man... din get into top5, bud fuck it yarx. Doesnt matter animore... I MISS MY TBONE!!! Damnit, and it dint help that De Meij's Tbone Concerto was so nice i kept repeating the three movements, esp movement 2. wow... if only i could play like tt. Tt piece was like pure inspiration to me last year. Hearing tt last year by the Philharmonic Winds gave me endless passion to practice my tbone. Still wana play it now... it rocks. =)
Dink im gona join band in the univerisity to play more tbone and join another outdoor CCA to do with nature, mayb diving or mountain climbing or some shit... really love doing tt kinda stuff... Hope the diving plan with my sis works out this june!! Cant wait!!!! hahahaa =p
K must go get some rest now... Long dae ahead toml. Promise to blog in more frequently yah... Nite.
[Sunday, May 4, 2003]
[10:42 p.m.]--according to the precise time of my dickory hickory tick tock clock
just felt like penning down some of the thoughts tat reside deeply in my head....
Dink religon is poison. It segregates people into groups. Not tt im realli against it or wad, just dink tt it causes people to clash. from minor day to day clashes such as relationships and all to major conflicts like muslim-christian skirmishes in indonesia and all... It just sucks.
Aint noe why people haf to be of the same status to marry someone. In this issue, like same religon. Why do people wana commit themselves to religious causes, like praising god and all. It realli scares me when i see cases like this. Some sorta cult thing i would think, though i noe that it aint supposed to be cult and all. Why must we thank god for something tt's successful?? When we are the ones doing all the work. Tt i can understand, cos i do it sometimes too...
Bud why do some religons keep going ard praising their god and all.... like christians and muslims and all. Still some of those people still end up commiting crimes and all, worse than a normal crimminal.
I feel that religon serves as a kinda principle. A principle that will lead people to have strong moral values and all, a set of principles that will mould people to become useful and a set of teachings taht people will follow thruout life. Definitely not something tt will condemn u to hell if u dun convert or something. I aint buying that shit. Would u rather someone control ur life or u control or life? Whose life is it? If u rather let somone else, someone u dink is higher than u take charge of ur live, i dink u might as well slit ur own fucking throat.
Haha... aniwae these are just idle ramblings. Bud i still feel we shldnt let religon come between people. Its just too shallow a reason for tt...
And if u aint like wad u looking at hear, feel free to comment. Bud if ur criticism aint constructive at all, go fuck urself. ooo, its just my thoughts btw, so im feelin hmmmm... it u aint like it... u can just fuck urself. yeah, feeling violent todae. =)
Nite
[Sunday, May 4, 2003]
[10:27 p.m.]--according to the precise time of my dickory hickory tick tock clock
Man my weekend was hmmm relaxing.
saturdae
Went to school for a run. Haven been running 4 a long time, erm since tuesdae. Band prac really drains my energy out these daes. Cant do animore stuff after blowing it all out man. Bud im proud to sae my tbone skills have improved dramatically since 2 weeks ago. Hahaha at least im getting louder. =p mayb if i keep it up and learn the jazz traits of brassy bass. I could become a pub musician. Aspiring jazz player zhao. hahaha
The run tt dae was near excellent. Almost did 8km within 40 mins, bud gave up real near the bridge with a time of 3347. Kinda surprised myself at the speed. Nice one zhao. Bud a miss is as good as a mile. U failed at the 7km mark. So u aint live up to expectations yet. Work at it boy. Work hard....
After that i finished nuclear physics. Quite kewl. Did 2 tutorials over the weekend and read parts of binomial distribution. Think i shant do any work on mondae and tuesdae. And tt includes working out. Must peak on wedsnesdae during competition and whack the shit out of the adjunctators man. Gold n top 5 here we come! =)
Band prac came next and boi i was drained. It was like 4 hrs long and luckily i had the talk cock people to disturb all ard me. Spent most of it talking cock. haahhaha bud of cos got play la. play till my abs swollen. =p Went with the guys for LAN and dinner after tt and by the time i reached home, boi was i tired. Spent some time talking cock to my budddies online and went to sleep. hEh, sorrie nick couldnt play with u last nite. =)
Sundae
Haiya, i just relaxed the whole dae eating like a pig. Felt a little guilty so i went with my brother and sister for a 5km jog which took us like one hour. Yes it was damn slow... Bud feeling quite gd after tt. Lazy to write, so shall end here. =)
[Thursday, May 1, 2003]
[10:33 p.m.]--according to the precise time of my dickory hickory tick tock clock
heyheyhey
thursdae was quite fun. Spent some time with my brother when i went to watch x-men2 with him. The silly boy's is pissed
now cos i told him his multiplication sucks. =)
Dink i pissed gracegrace off when i somewhat told her i woched the show she cant get tickets for. hehheh . Just joking man babe! cool it. hope u have managed to catch the show todae. Aint as good as spidey in my opinion.
Then i went with bro down to funan the IT mall to get the new quiet keyboard tt i using now cos he complains the old one makes lotas noise in the nite when he's sleeping. =( aniwae, we came out of the MRT and i saw jeenee. Hahaha... i was goin to sae hi when she just walked awae, aint noe wads her problem man. bud i din give a shit so i just walked awae too. like i give a shit whether u ignore me man... fuck off.
Heard she burnt all the letters and stuff i gave her. Hope it makes her feel better and all though. Wont burn my stuff so i'll be reminded of the mistake i made and i wont make the same mistake ever again. yupz
Saw tisha on the mrt with her bf and said hi to her!hahaha shes begun to look more and more philipino(if u noe wad i mean) and i cldnt help smiling. SO funny. I cldnt help thinkin how phillipino she looked until she stood her. Wow. Guys, shes' twice as big as sarah. Fucking phillpino with european sized u noe wads. Man, i din even like went to check it out purposely. It was so huge i swear i thought it was her tummy. I really dink its silicone implants. Damn it. After a while, i felt disgusted. eEeeee too big liao. disgusting man.
Haven done any work yet. Dink i shall go pack my room after this and then i'll go pack my room after i've CSed 4 a while. hahaha aniwae yepyep. Nite to everyone. And to u noe it urself, if ya reading this. Everythign will be fine eventually. Just let time heal all wounds.
Nite
[Wednesday, April 30, 2003]
[01:23 p.m.]--according to the precise time of my dickory hickory tick tock clock
hahaha. Just felt like loggin in something philosophical. This thought just crossed my mind bcos i just found a problem with myself. That is comparing myself with others. Most people do not like other people to cmpare themselves with others. They find it fucked up. hahaha... Yea, i dun like tt too, not tt it has been done recently or wadsoever.
But i find myself comparing myself to others frequently. And i feel tt is kinda absurd. Dont u guys dink so. So i decided tt i should stop preoccupying myself with these negative thoughts by giving myself solid reasons to do so...
otherwise, i'll become a crazy nut soon.
People all start off at diff levels in life. From the moment u're born with diff faces and all, and as u grow up, diff characteristics are instilled within u. Yup so these doesnt give myeself a fair reason for comparison with others.
Furthermore, people arent perfect. Yep. So wad u may possess, others may not possess. And vice versa. So deres no point in comparing urself with others. The only thing
that u can compare urself too is wad u were last time. Tts the only way to improve.
Lastly, i feel strongly that u shld stop doing things tt doesnt matter at all to u and other people. Stop these shallowness. Swim deeper into the ocean. U can stop it if u want. There's nobody stopping u. Yup. So stop it. hahaha Stop being preoccupied.
Improving urself takes a step at a time. Take the first step, which is to stop tt shallow thinking and preoccupation tt is hindering u now and u will improve urself gradually. yep. I just took the first step.
math test in 1 hr. fuck it.
[Monday, April 28, 2003]
[09:49 p.m.]--according to the precise time of my dickory hickory tick tock clock
Today's kinda depressing. Hahah started off last nite when i tot of J once again. Couldnt sleep properly and all.
Frens around me have been real down lately. Just spent some time last nite at neek's place, tryg to cheer my bro up. Hope he'll get better soon! Noe this is a real difficult time for u bro. Can understand wad u're goin thru man. But these times make the man u turn out to be. I know u'll definitely pull through man. No doubt about it. And just want u to know tt we'll alwaes be bhind u, supporting u when u fall, helping u up after u fall, and being dere with u while u're up. =) Just take care man. Diff times for us all, but we'll fucking pull through in the end. RITE GUYS? hahaha =)
I've been dinking about jee again. HAIYA, actually i havent completely stopped thinking of her ever since tt dae. Mayb tts why im goin ard doing shit like u guys noe wad to distract myself. WE msged me again just now bud she din reply my msg. Kinda hate this kinda of thing. Bud must be understanding. Hahha im a lewser. fuck it. fuck gers. hahaha
i should change some parts of myself i dink.
Like my emotional self. Dunno wad tt means too. Like my brain activity. Too much dinking aint going to do u ani good. Mayb if u dink more in physics and shit it is lar. Bud of cos not arghh emotionally. So u better not dink so fucking much. Cant be bothered to dink animore.
Theres a myraid of feelings goin thru me. Haha... dunno wad tt is, bud one sure is happy. Cos i just spent like 15 mins inside the almost dark PT with the chio band teacher. Not bad huh... hahaha she was so funny. Cock. Feeling down too. Dunno why. Mayb its bcos im just tired. mayb i should go sleep.
Nope goin to study after i bathe. Dink i should eat cereal if i feel hungry. Ate bread for dinner just now onlieh. Cant be bothered. Shall go do sets too. Dun feel like schling tom.
Fatigue is setting in
the clouds seem so weary.
My eyes are real heavy
My mind is drifting far away.
To the daes of joy and happiness
To the daes where i was just another fat punk
To the daes of no worries
How i want to leave this tiredness behind.
Bud i noe these tiredness will bring me back
It will bring me back to the dae
The dae when we fcuking won the gold.
The amount of satisfaction i had
The satisfaction i see looming near.
The triumph.
We will.
Fuck it.
Fuck it cos we're gona win.
hahah... i dun need anione to make me confident. I control my own happiness and i will be confident, if i just let myself be. Nice one grace. Thanks. Needed it =) Cya.
[Friday, April 25, 2003]
[09:32 p.m.]--according to the precise time of my dickory hickory tick tock clock
heyheyhey
Sch was rather kewl todae
Even more laughter compared to yesterdae
Cos hamturo came to rock our world todae.
A little hamster dude from the town of looney world
Hamturo made us a lil looney also.
He tried to haf some fun getting sliced by the fan
Only to have a baboon throw him towards the bin
Poor poor hamturo seeked much solace
Only to be considered for the job of a vibrator
By a RAF, the only studying baboon in the zoo.
Naturally we got pissed
but we understood how the baboon feels.
She was in heat and aint getting any
Tried to snuggle up to PK todae
Only to get dissed
Aint noe wad the zoo is doing these daes
Bud sure someones gona slaughter that RAF one dae.
So aint frickin care.
[Thursday, April 24, 2003]
[10:12 p.m.]--according to the precise time of my dickory hickory tick tock clock
ballless dae.
1.) Told jon in the toilet i'll sae hi to her when shes alone. We went out of the toilet and the next thing u noe, she was walking to the toilet. Felt so bloody embarrassed. FUCKING HUMJI! hurhur...
2.) Went running at peirce reservoir just now. Ran alongside a real serene road with dimly lit lights along a forest. Was almost pitch black. And i was damn humji. Din dare to look into the forest cos i got reminded of my fren's pontianak sighting expeirence. Couldnt run fast too cos i just finished one part of speed training. So just kept looking straight like a freaking balless dick. hai...
3.) Saw a damn big german sheperd after i came out of the peirce reservoir area. Kinda stopped me dead in my tracks even though dere was a maid holding on to the dog. Din haf enuff faith in the maid so i turned around and ran a longer route home. Hai.
Dead tired now. Dink i shall go and sleep soon. Read econs first. Nite. Must regenerate my balls. Dink its mark's fault. Stupid mark and his prosthetic dick. =)
[Thursday, April 24, 2003]
[07:44 p.m.]--according to the precise time of my dickory hickory tick tock clock
IT DOESNT MATTER!
Todae was realli kewl.
started the dae with econs, math and gp, with econs being the most productive and a pmsing econs teacher. How would she feel if she asked a question and we give her the im frustrated bcos i dink ure stupid look... looked real unapproachable sometimes... Maybs she suffering from permanent menstrual stress. Bud like wad the fuck. Im not stressed. OooO BOO! Aniwae shes quite nice overall so i aint gona bitch some more about her.
Break was the most fun period. Rus came to join us and dahui was seating with ngie. Missed grace of cos. Got eye infection from surfing too much sgboy.com .Lucky gal got a 2 dae break. Hope she recovers fast though. Get well son Grace!!!Rus started his WWF crap shit one more time and WOAH it was hilarious. hAhaha real funny bud real sia lan too =) Nice one russ, reminded me of the good old daes in another setting =p
Maths lect was erm the usual stuff... if u can guess it. We got a new target for bang in the box. Think she might be able to make the covered box. Hahaha. =) And i was humji again. Damn it. Todae was the perfect opportunity n i was humji. hahaha nvm then. fuck it =)
Just came back from AMK library. Did 1 econs drq and din understand the graph, mayb i cldnt be bothered to dink harder. So shall go sch and copy tom. Hahaha =) finished vectors and parts of coordinate geometry. Shall read money and coordinate geo tonite. feel real lazy. sigh.
Bud first im gona go do 5 click. Need a jog to sweat it out. Haven been at it for like 4 daes already!! Aargh!!! then mayb i would feel better! =)
dUm dI dUm Di duM LEt iT be!! =)
[Monday, April 21, 2003]
[10:37 p.m.]--according to the precise time of my dickory hickory tick tock clock
Continuation....
Haha i also kinda happy for this other girl that i've talked to recently. Glad that she's found someone to take care of her and all. Really no hard feelings even though things din work out at all btw us. hAHaha
Aniwae i kinda wonder wad realli drew me towards her in the first place?? Her voice is kinda nice, from all the girls i noe, her voice is like one of the nicest. And shes kinda cute too i guess, bud knowing her once again now has gave me a different impression of her. Dunwana further elaborate on it. hahaha =p
Theres one thing troubling me somehow. thruout the entire conversation we had tt previous nite, i realli wana know wad happened and how come it din work out and all, bud guess i din feel ready to ask her tt... Haha hope i can clear tt up one of these daes.
Though she said she'll call soon n asked me to call her up soon too... dun dink she meant it aniwae. Dink it was just a nice thing to say. hmmm, dink it would be a bad idea for me to talk to her regularly , in case people outside dun understand and think i like her or something which i obviously dun. Yup, so i guess i'll just stick to my life! =)
Im behind the wheel.
Looking up at the clouds
Admiring the greens
And thinking how much life has to offer me.
Cos i noe from this moment.
Im in absolute control of my life
I steer the wheel of life.
My life.
[Monday, April 21, 2003]
[09:52 p.m.]--according to the precise time of my dickory hickory tick tock clock
Singing the Monday Blues--Dum di DUm
Heya just finished band practice not long ago. Bud theres something ringing in my ear. Must be the dumbass timpani just behind me. Ring Ring, like a stupid fone ringing. Wonder wtf is their problem. Only noe how to blast here blast there, duno how to balance siah... Aniwae the room sucks so got no choice. Cant
wait to move into the PT to practice even though the sound sucks. It doesnt get reflected at all... damnit! Bud at least there wont be a fuckin phone in my ear ringing. Bloody harzard!.
Aniwae, bsides the fucking ringing in the ears. Feeling rather happy about the wae things are goin 4 my frens relationships now. Nick and angie seem to have gotten past the problems tt plagued them last week. Hahaha gd 4 u bro!
-Blank---by popular request of erhem...
Just saw song n celine together on fridae. They looked real happy together! Thats it man song. All the wae buddy!!
Grace grace man i dink ure good! Found a job after the A levels liao. In this recent job crisis still can get job means real pro liao. Somemore ur boss thinks u have leadership qualities, so he tell me
to tell u ure now in charge of flower and veron, u noe the man u big dick +sucker. Must do a gd job ok? cos we gona make the bang in a box the greatest business venture man has seen!!!
Haha, eh grace, dun scare us by sudd break down man! We know ure stressed and shit, bud relaxing la! If need help, we're there cos we're standing by ya! So just chill man and lets work together hand in hand so tt we can get out of JC quick and proceed to our business man.
Kevkev, perserve okie?? Im sure HZ will be touched by ur sincerity one day! And that day will come soon!! Mayb next time u give her present give on time then better la!! hahah bud it'll work out kev!! have faith!!! =)
Mark ure the worse dick of all!! I still want u even though ure realli humji and u treat me like shit. U dink i like getting screwd by a prosthetic dick ar?? HUH?! Bloody dildo would be better than a freakin leaking prosthetic dick man. Haha jk. Aniwae dun dink u'll c this bud take care yar. All the best for the tournament and need any help, come ask me. Even if i cant get any satisfaction at all.
This ntry getting too long. Fed up. Gona write new entry.
[Tuesday, April 15, 2003]
[09:30 p.m.]--according to the precise time of my dickory hickory tick tock clock
kNoCk kNock KnOcking On HeaVens DoOrRrr
Yesterday was one of the better days of the holidays... haha gotcha rite? If not for the new heading!! Been realli lazy to go update my bloggy and the grp one, even though i haf much to sae. Not much actually, but aiyah... wtf.
I kinda feel real bad about the way i treat my mum sometimes. Like after the match tt dae, she called and asked me where i m and i went like "WAD" on answering the call.
Made me feel even worse by asking me whether i got caught in the rain huh. M i alrite or not and stuff.
And i just snapped her off with such a rude and fucked up greeting like tt.
Fuck, im quite irritated now with this stupid girl asking me hows life, and after i told her saying about sch and stuff, then she grins, waits 4 awhile and asks me hows sch!!! Like nothing to sae dun sae la! damnit!
Aniwae back to the main subject. Better control myself next time, otherwise i could end up hurting my mum's feelings or other's people's feelings as well.
Love you mum!
Yar and u better make it a point to thank your dad 4 sending u the sch. Even though u dink he's bloody unreasonable to kaobei about u sleeping on the wae to sch.
LIKE WAD CAN I DO IN THE CAR!
damnit. aniwae Thank you dad!
Had quite a good dae todae, though it was tiring. Master class proved real useful. A few more practices n i would be ready for SYF i hope.
Need to use more air support to provide a louder sound. Then can whack that wuss aprilyn and grace up and send them packing to desker. hahaha =)
Then we played tennis. rEal classy game... haha dun feel like talking about sch work. Im kinda in a big messs now. Gona do something about it like pretty soon man!!!
Lotsa of my buddies feeling down these daes, esp kevkev and neeek. Kinda having rela problems. real worried about them, and really wish that things will turn around for them real soon, like when they read this. heh.
Hope my listening ear and funny shit would really cheer them up!! haha cheer guys!! I noe its difficult, n i'll be dere 4 ya all alwaes k! I'll try hard to dispense advice to help ual, cos im not in ur position, aint noe all the angles of whats realli goin on.
Bud heres one piece to all of you from my heart: Do what u believe will make u a happier person in the long run. then its not ur call animore.
And i will be dere 4 u when u made ur decision. To provide support and security. Like a bouncer. BOING! =)
Zhao's feeling lazy, so shall go sleep now. haha. nite!
Be happy. You own ur steering wheel to life!
[Tuesday, April 8, 2003]
[11:22 a.m.]--according to the precise time of my dickory hickory tick tock clock
Yesterdae was one of the better days of this hols. Heh. Think its gona get better and better when sch reopens, cos though sch kinda sucks, it cant beat too much boredom in terms of sucking.
Was real happy that i broke my 5 km course record by like 3 mins, trimming it down to 2231. Yay!!! Kinda think that the 10 and 6 km runs are paying off gradually. Will strive to run at 10km every weekend. Then after tt 15, then 20 then 25, then 30 and 35 and 42!!! And i can go run my first marathon!!! HhAHAHA. Nuts. u're just a crazy dinosaur.
But kinda hope i do well for my napfa this year. Get my 2.4 below 10 mins. Learn how to jump n reach far. otherwise i'll get a darn sliver again. like last year. DAMN IT! tt kinda sucked. Aniwae dinosaurs aren't supposed to be flexible i guess. hahaha =p
And in the nite i talked to nat over the fone 4 awhile. Been a long time since i talked to her. Met her coincidentally during my evening run. hahaha, still looked the same. And still quite a nice gal.
Bud dun get me wrong, cos i aint interested in her!! Gona stick to my guns that im never gona have another relationship till im ready to commit myself totally. Dunno when tt will ever be. Doest matter aniwae.hahaa
Gona go out todae to makan this nice chicken thing in coronation plaza and after tt goin down to AMK library to study with my sis and mayb my paranoid bro. He's just super paranoid about the SARS thingy after 6 new cases and 2 new deaths. hahaha wonder if they'll shut sch todae again. =p Yup... must be goin now. So cya around people!! =)
[Monday, April 7, 2003]
[01:17 a.m.]--according to the precise time of my dickory hickory tick tock clock
Yo. Just came back from a chat with jean. Heh, must say its
been so long since i've talked to her and all though i still c her in sch regularly.
She's told me how jee cant get over it properly and all and how they contact each other more often now and all. Kinda saddening, bud life goes on. If she doesnt want to move on, i guess i cant do much to help her either.
Kinda glad jean's doing fine and all, haha, still so funny and cute after all this while.And kinda feel better about things now. We talked about life and all and i really cant wait for life ahead man!!! gona be so freakin exciting and all!!! ahahaha
From this failed relationship, i've learnt something. Nv fall into a relationship with a person, no matter how much u like him or her unless u are sure that u can be committed.
Some words of wisdom from zhao, bud dink everyone noes that... haha. Aniwae zhao's gota go do his work now. So take care guys! cya ard! =)
[Saturday, April 5, 2003]
[10:43 p.m.]--according to the precise time of my dickory hickory tick tock clock
Hey. Rehi again. My little cousin named Aloyscius or however u spell it just came round my place for a visit.His mum's a milf(heh) and he's such a little cute dude of around 10 years old that i brought him to the park to play with swings and talk some shit to him.
Turns out he's a swimming champion. Kinda cool and he goes to ACS(I) for training and i was like woah. Won a few medals here and dere in sch comps...
Aniwae realli wish i could go back to those daes of being a round little guy running around the neighborhood playing soccer with the old guys. Realli miss those daes.
Bud zhao, ure bloody 18.
Those daes are long gone!
U shld have treasured those daes of freedom and fun
Cos u aint gona expeirence those shit again!
U gota freakin focus in ur life
Better start focussing or else...
U're gona write the same shit when u're 30
Sometimes u're just freakin screwed up.
Doing shit u aint noe what ure doing
Procrastinating and all.
Mayb u aint even noe what the fuck u're typing.
You know what u crazed dinosaur,
you know what's ur archilles heel,
yet u aint wana work on it
Discipline
Discipline, its something u bloody lack!
You think time will come back to u? Huh?
Time aint a luxury u prick.
Whether its work play or shit, u aint possess any discipline
What happened to the guy two years ago??
What went wrong?
U beta fuckin instil some discipline in you b4 u screw things up again.
No horse ever gets aniwhere,
Unless its harnessed.
You know that jolly well... so wad ya gona do about it?
Temper
You know ur temper's gotten worse over the past few months.
You know u're being such a fucker by losing ur cool at ur family members.
You know that being stressed over things aint give u the right to lose ur cool.
Bud being the fucker u are, u take it out on ur family.
These guys are concerned about u!
Losing ur cool aint gona help things.
So what if ur bro can be a dick sometiems?
U noe losing ur cool just's gona turn u into a lewser!
So now u noe wad to do...
Fuck it.
[Saturday, April 5, 2003]
[17.12.pm]--according to the precise time of my dickory hickory tick tock clock
How time flies.
Its been 1 week or so since the school closed because of the SARS virus. Its also been 2 weeks since i broke up with jee.
I kinda think im quite weird. In the sense that i always reminisce about what has happened in the past. Mostly about failed relationships. Failed relationships that had bloomed and failed relationships that were in their blooming stage.
Somehow, i keep thinking what would have happened if things were different and all...Somehow i just wonder whether i have made the right decision in taking the paths that i had taken, or i had been forced to take.
I realise that im most vulnerable to hurt and pain when i open myself towards other people. I feel most people are like that too.
When they open the door of love and enter a whole new world together with their partner. They enter a world full of ups and downs, happiness and sadness. Though life has been full of ups and downs too, nothing i have known can be compared to this world of love...
I guess im just not ready for these ups and downs. And i dun know when i'll ever be. I dun know when i'll be able to open myself up to new people, to new relationships like that again...
That day, i was jogging around the neighborhood when i chanced upon a couple embracing each other and walking past me. My thoughts immediately flew towards the good old times i had b4 with my ex. The good old times that were never going to be there again. Somehow i got rather envious and felt quite sad. I felt quite lonely and miserable.
I used to think of her b4 i sleep. Sleep would then come naturally and easily to me, like i was going to meet her in dreamland.
Sleep however becomes somewhat of a difficulty for me. I'll just take ages to get some rest these daes. Guess i just have to find something else to think about b4 i go to sleep. haha...
These daes i just listen to music from the 80's and 90's such as Steve Perry's "Foolish Heart" and Hall and Oates music and realise how much the lyrics represents the words i want to tell myself...
Let the past go. Its much easier to say than do it. I'll still think about how come my previous relationships ended. Still dunno how the fuck they ended. Know i shldnt give a shit bud still wana find out. Guess thats my problem then...
Though its difficult to let the past go... I know time heals all wounds and i guess i should be fully healed in the weeks to come.
And that will be thanks to my great friends and family. cheers!Hey those guys who are in relationships, all the best to u!!! and i mean it! =p.
[Friday, April 4, 2003]
[02.19p.m.]--according to the precise time of my dickory hickory tick tock clock
Afternoon people. Rex just woke up 2 hours ago and ate KFC delivery for lunch. I kinda had a fucked up sleep waking up every hour assualting my brother with a bolster for snoring damn loudly. Kinda feel bad now for assualting him... bud guess its my own fault for wanting to sleep in his room when i have known of his noisy snoring tendencies. Funny how he resembles my dad...
Dink im gona go running later b4 i go over to gracey's place in the nite for movie nite.
Running
Sweat glistens between ur eyes
Your heart beating twice as fast as ur steps
,as you make your way down the road
Cars zoom past, bikers move past and a nonchalant look greets you as u move past people.
You do not notice this, you do not notice anything at all,
because a runner is engrossed deeply in a world of himself.
The only thing is notices is the sound of gravel beneath his shoes
and the only thing he feels is his heart pounding gravely in his chest.
Midway, he wonders, "zhao, why are you doing this? What for? You aint need to lose weight animore. You aint needing this shit. What for?
Thoughts of giving up seep gradually into his brain.
He looks to the far end of the road
wondering if he would be able to reach his destination in time...
To him the destination seems real far. real real far. he cant even envision the destination.
He wants to stop, but something is urging him to carry on.
The sense of accomplisment, together with the relief of water
gives him extra strength.
He completes his run eventually, looking jaded but feeling glad that he din jettison his plans halfway.
Few people around him are able to emphatize with him.
To them, completing a run aint as good as making some money in the stock market, or beating somebody in a game of chess.
Running to me is about oneself.
It aint about anybody else.
Cos when u run, its YOU versus YOU
That incredulous sense of beating yourself at a run that makes a runner feel on top of the world.
And most people are ignorant of that.
Cos they have to beat someone in order to feel good.
But i say fuck tt shit.
Cos what mattters is that u improve yourself.
Because the greatest enemy that u can have aint Saddamm, or fucking bin Laden.
Mayb that aint true in reality. Because Sadamm and bin Laden are mentally deranged.
Bud tt seems true to a normal mentally healthy person.
Running is like life.
Never compare yourself with another guy.
Cos u din have equal starting blocks.
Constantly seek to improve youself.
And one day... u'll definitely make it.
[Thursday, April 3, 2003]
[11.21 PM]--according to the precise time of my dickory hickory tick tock clock
Hey everyone!! Now my page is really kinda up. Still have to add the links and some other stuff thou... bud i like ta thank u guys 4 helping me set it up, esp nick n grace! yeah thanks man... all u guys out dere rock.
Mum"s birthday is like later... my sis and bro wana get her a pair of shoes bud she says it aint necessary. I was dinkin some history book cos it interests her... and we aint getting anywhere now. Hhahaha. Those two pets of mine have been trading insults and shouting at each other for the past few daes... guess its cos of the boredom of SARS quarentine and shit.
Aniwae... i kinda hope the holidaes will get extended. Then i'll realli get down and do some work. Bud if it aint getting extended, i'll still do work. So wadsup with me man... got some shit to write about. Mayb later when i haf the time.
Ciao.
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